I can relate to a lot of you out there. You’re just like me. Even if you are underweight we can relate. My life (just like a lot of yours) wasn’t the best.
- Had the harshest upbringing one could imagine- check
- Had accepted abandonment- check
- Used drugs, alcohol and food for self soothing- check
- Never felt acceptance from others- check
- Depressed and anxious- check
- Broke and alone- check
This was my life, I had gone from relationship to relationship trying to stir the love of my life in someone else. Trying to FIX myself and then FIX others.
I always thought to myself that if I had the right body I would be accepted. If I had more money I’d be accepted. If I had the best I’d be accepted.
Little did I know that accepted had to do with just allowing myself to live and love the life I already had. How much more did I want?
I lost a hundred pounds, I had money, I had time, I did lots of traveling. I was always HUNGRY.
I was so unhealthy at one time. I had PCOS, clinical infertility, clinical depression, anxiety, insomnia. I weighed in at 280 lbs. That was the heaviest I had ever weighed. I yo-yo dieted.
I was using night time tylenol every single night, I ate fast food every single day. Sometimes three times a day. I was a vegetarian and I was really proud of that. Though I was not nourishing my body the way I should have. I drank heavily with spurts of lightened drink, but still used drugs.
Honestly, I smoked a lot of weed too. I was such a voice for cannabis, but the problem was I started using it so much that I became so lazy. I was smoking weed instead of drinking. The weed use became so unhealthy I was smoking a gram an hour.
Then I finally realized was that even necessary? Why did I always need to be messed up? I was abusing prescription pills before that. I was doing so much to deny myself wellness.
I started looking into holistic supplements and behavioral techniques to help me process the over whelming feelings of inadequacies.
Through the years of becoming healthier, healthier eating, supplementation rather than drugs, ditching the alcohol and weed use and getting to know God my whole body changed.
I became pregnant and this is a photo of me in my fourth pregnancy!
I was able to figure out (Thanks to God) who I really am. Why I went through the severe pain and trauma. This helped me see so much. I opened my eyes and heart to the much needed spiritual reflection.
I had learned to accept my life and who I am right now. That I am enough and now I pay it forward by counseling those who need the same kind of insight.
I love what I do and I find it incredibly rewarding.
I am cooking all my food at home. On occasion we eat out. For the most part I cook whole foods. I love my ketogenic way of eating because those guidelines help me stay feeling well.